The 'Transcendent' functions in every day life

I've recently become more convinced that the 'transcendent function' itself is what creates so much disharmony everywhere and every when. That's because 'it' (the function itself) individualizes a persons' experiences to such a degree  over a long span of time as to seem impossible to a scientific oriented mindset. Its my experience that the symptoms of certain mental 'disorders' can be understood as attributes of the individuation process. I've never heard 'voices' myself, I've experienced thought that I didn't 'will', and speech that was spontanteous, but as I found out over a   length of time came from depths of mind below consciousness and my  and other's intents.

Its also possible that the ordinary individual, having no knowledge of such a process, can experience a sense of being the focus of some malignant attention from an 'other'. The 'other' can perhaps be a spouse,  a neighbor, the FBI, or some material world real persecutor. I've experienced several people who went into a different personality, a few somewhat returned to normal, just somewhat.
 A sprinkling of unusual events may open the door to the hidden world that lays 'hidden' behind a barrier that is language itself, that's how 'it' began to come to my attention. P. D. Ouspensky wrote that a person does not always recognize something new when it happens or one hears about it.  I discovered that myself , in a location where 'new things' happened in my own mind and thought,  between age 2-1/2 and my present age which is  almost 80 years and I didn't notice them myself. They were brought to my attention in an unusual method. I'm sure Emanuel Swedenborg named this 'method' as 'remains installed early in life in states of innocence' for use later in the process he named 'regeneration'. Regeneration is a good word to choose.

The first was an image of what I was looking at when I was 2-1/2 years old, which was 'fixed in my memory' complete in every detail, like a super photograph, because even a thought that occurred into my mind was part of that image. That was the unsuspected 'new' thing as I found out  decades later. That 'scene' then repeated during my life for no reason I could ever see, flashing into my mind extremely rapidly.  Eventuallly I wondered why that 'scene' flashed into my mind. That was a small degree of curiosity and attention but not enough to cause me to focus  on that re-occurring memory for more than a few seconds.

The scene, which I've mentioned before but will describe briefly again:  I was laying on a bed, directly overhead was a bare light bulb suspended from the rafter, it was not a ceiling in a house; that was the visual part. The audible part was that I heard wind coming through the cracks, I knew my new baby sister was laying on the same bed but her body was not in the scene. A thought occurred: "I am in a cold place." I never mentioned this to anyone else until one day in 1989 when I found the old one car garage my parents had rented in 1934, the day before it was to be torn down. My husband told me I could not possibly remember anything so young, but he got out of the car and talked to an old woman sitting on the porch  of the house next to the weather beaten garage. She verified everything. I took pictures and asked if I could have some engraved panels in the door. She told me to take whatever I wanted because the next day the garage was to be bulldozed away.
A different kind of scene was super-photographed when I was about 9 years old when a Sunday school teacher told her version of the birth of Jesus. I listened to her tell about how the messiah had been expected for so long but 'when it came it did not come as it was expected to come'. I remember thinking that the messiah was not an 'it', she should have said 'he', not it. The internal conversation about the messiah not being an 'it' re-occured for decades before my curiosity was somewhat 'turned on'. Only then  I wondered why that memory flashed into my mind.  I had never mentioned that memory to any one.

Only one 'event' cannot be enough to convince anyone else of the validity of a 'process in every day life' that is in fact a complete separation of an individual from the mass of individuals and an interface with that individual takes place.   A few somewhat similar events happened before I was a  teen ager, each different in content but similar in the unexplainable re-occurrance of the event into my mind. I didn't recognize them until I was in my 60's as having been installed early in life for later use, to make me understand that foresight or apparent foresight other than my own was obvious. At this point I believe there's an explanation in our biological connections to what's outside the body, and history as it's been described, for this 'apparent foresight'. Also it was obvious that my thought was as retrievable as the memory of the physical component of the moment.  I didn't recognize a description of similar re-occuring events in his life when I read it the first time, in A New Model Of The Universe by P. D. Ouspensky.

I've read a lot since 1983, when I first came into contact with ideas in psychiatry other than what I  had gleaned from the fictions that were my main reading material. I avoided non-fictions unless required in school or at work because they were  very boring. They didn't produce any  effect or comprehension. I had noticed that about myself when I did read One, Two Three, Infinity by George Gamow after my new husband read it in 1955.  Every word was easy  to read  but I didn't understand what the book was about. That was a small degree of self observation but I didn't think of it as 'self knowledge' then.

The two pages in the picture below are from The Bridge of San Luis Rey  by Thornton Wilder in which an abbess mentions a 'secret' and from Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke in which an alien tells a man about an 'abyss' across which 'few....unaided have ever found it.' There's a kind of literalness in these two abstractions from two different books. The title of the chapter, Perhaps An Intention, is perhaps important, and is in my opinion, it really is important information about 'it'.