The individualized life turns science against its self.

I'm not a young woman, nor a middle aged female, I'm an old lady, I hope. I read a lot, old books and newly published books that surprisingly sometimes  say the same thing. Reading a certain page in  Ouspenkys' Tertium Organun for instance recently merged seamlessly with a chapter in The Bond by Lynn McTaggart, a recent book. The subject was language, biology, DNA and the possibility that the environment and personal  experiences alter ones DNA. But naturally that formed  the inference that science doesn't establish stable information. Even scientific studies that had been accepted truths changed into being false when more information was revealed.

 I read somewhere that every life forms (or should form) a 'story'.  The 'story' that's formed as I have lived my life, is that as an individual my experiences do accomplish something. I used to wonder if my  seeing something or being present made a difference anywhere, if just being an observer changed anything. In 1989 I read a newstory that had been published in 1932 about the gamma ray experiments to be made by Arthur H. Compton.  That was the year I was born, and the front page article mentioned that the 'new discoveries' of quantum physics implied that human thought, human activities and motives were involved at that level.That was 80 years ago.
 I know that what I saw and observed in my unique life that formed my 'story' was revealed to me.   

It was  received by me as inner content that emerged from the physical world but which merged and joined with content that was already present in my mind

not yet as thought and other content that was not visible until it met its exact match, creating  'coincidences' that generated new contexts and meanings to 'events', in my past and 'now', a point that is not fixed.
 It seems logical to assume the 'new physics' was about information itself, and the body is information, every event is potential information, every circumstance is potential information. The Bond by Ms. Taggart as I understand it opens that territory. Some mechanisms of mind that are not under my will must be active to reveal new-to-me information. 

The entire  story  gave me evidence that  what I saw and thought, even the more private thoughts and events that I never told anyone about, are stored in a data base, with my names on it. I don't know the 'address' but it is  known to some intelligence other than mine. (Emanuel Swedenborg's experiences and his complicated writings as well as Robert Monroe's are evidence that the mind can operate independently from an individuals 'will and intentionality' and the body.)  

There's an old riddle about liars and truth tellers who live together in a certain city. I read it somewhere when I was a very young girl. The only rule in this city is that liars are compelled to lie and truth tellers are equally compelled to say what is true. What question can a visitor ask of any citizen in this city that will reveal whether one is doing business with a liar or truth teller? At the time I didn't spend any time trying to think of a question.

The modern world and the past are being integrated into a single stream.

The process of integrating the past is an individual activity  that is a natural part of normal life that happens but in an unexpected way.  The individual can become aware of participating in that activity, its probably supposed to become conscious work done for an other level. I became aware of it in every day normal situations, it was not the kind of sudden enlightenment that I've learned is commonly described. A few events that happened early in life formed a foundation for becoming aware of that other level later in life.

The individuation process itself is not time bound, nor is it linear.  I can only write that from experiences, 8 decades of experiences that were embedded at first in every day life,  in my specific location, it didn't matter where I was. 
To define what I mean by 'embedded' is difficult because I can only recognize a link between my past and whatever was happening 'now' from hindsight. I could write many examples of how some event embedded in every day life was 'abstracted from   embeddedness' and used to form a new  context but a few terrabytes of 'data' is in that slot. And that  content is growing and flowing like a river into which new content falls constantly. But that material can't be united into a coherent kind of 'story' except in my own memory. Its the most private location in the universe. "Like tears in rain", my real life story is embedded in that river of events that happened in my entire life.
  My inner content is so different lately, but that's happened a few times in the past. I just feel and experience the world outside my  body differently now than I did before I fell 10-1-2012 and fractured my  hand. I had a cast    for almost 2 months and that was life in a new world to an octogenarian body. I know the next step can change my life now so I'm in a somewhat new mindset: confronting fear directly every minute.
Experience helps deal with that kind of change, its happened a few times almost suddenly but I've read a lot and what I've read that Ira Progoff wrote, has helped me more than any doctor or medicine. Every change is somewhat akin to a peristolic movement, excuse the link to the  processes of digestion, but I feel 'moved' closer to the exit with each change, after some time 'in' that new location. Swedenborg has been a sanity anchor but there are many authors who threw me a life raft or even gave me a boat and oars to use to navigate the space 'within' while I tried to  live 'normal'.

 I've travelled a great distance in my own inner space, and found out the space between my ears encloses a different kind of space but its vast and 'within' is information filled.  I didn't know anything about mental space when my attention was switched from the outer world to my own mind. I have foresight, hindsight all of which are blended into a 'now' that contains so much information that I understand what William Blake wrote: " its possible to understand the world in a grain of sand."  He didn't  use the  word 'understand', that's my chosen word to replace his word 'see'. The history of a grain of sand is now included in quantum physics and its almost certain history is in our body.
History is what I see now with this mindset, mostly its patterns, stereotypes that are no longer enough information. But now  its my history but also  its only the described history, what's been written down and accepted as truth as well as whatever truth has been rejected. Its our work to 'digest' it and re-view as much as possible into a better 'Big Picture'.
Reading what the ancients wrote has forced me to realize there is a hidden vein of activity at work in Time,  and 'we' are it. That idea  was probably later formed into an awareness of the  presence of 'forces' beyond sight, at least normal sight and an Other that Hesiod wrote, told him what is true or what only 'seems' to be true while he tended his flock. That is almost enough information since falsities and truth are what we deal with, a real world and an apparently there 'other' world. where we live 'now'.
 Insight is different. Unusual events happen, embedded in normal every day life. Which I didn't have when I reported to work  for  my job at Boeing in 2-11-85, a day that was not typical at all: I was driving by and suddenly decided to apply for a job at Boeing. That day I asked for an application and was told they were not hiring so I turned to leave.  I saw a sign on a wall which I  read  then  turned around and said something to the receptionist. She handed me an application then I left  but was hired because of that sign.

I'd had a harsh 5 years, because somehow Mt. St. Helens eruption May 18, 1980 at 8:32 had become a benchmark for changes in my mind and body, but 32 event filled years have scrolled through Time since we erupted.
 I was 52 years old then and everyone asked how I got an application, they couldn't get one.( I saw the metal model of the pi symbol that day and I drove a car licensed ETW 651 that day, Extra Terrestrial Woman 651 was not a vanity plate, it just happened to be on the auto when I bought it.)
 It was a surprise that I had to join a union and had to give my Social Security Number, I nearly walked out but I joined IAM 751 because I needed a job.
My point is that I was not curious about what the sign said or why it caused me to turn back and say something until several years later, the memory began to lurk about in my mind. In fact  I did not think about  that event at all until it was retrieved one day into my memory,  along with some degree of curiosity about it, so often that I had to think about it.  What did the sign say and what had I said that resulted in being employed at such an age as 52?  Obviously the memory of that moment is stored in a nambered slot somewhere.  I just don't know that nameber myself, but I know it is 'known'  and it was accessed often enough to make me curious, then think about and wonder why I was prodded to notice the 'wierdness' of that day.

 Other memories have been retrieved specifically that way, memories that I had forgotten and not thought were unusual when they happened until they reoccurred so often I had to wonder about them, and ask my self: 'why now?'  My history is where the answer to that question exists. I'd had a very difficult 7 years prior to that day and had to work very hard to do things that  had been easy.  With hindsight, I can see now that the years between 1975 and 1984 had certain events happen, and they were also embedded in 'normal' so I had to learn how to abstract them, and that happened between 1984 and 1993!
There's no linearity in the mind, the old joke my grandmother repeated so often: "Time is what prevents everything from happening at once." is as profound  truth as any philosopher ever wrote.
 My  inner content is different now, and lately I feel 'like'  I'm being given more information about my earliest years, the patterns of my past are the woof and warp of what's happening in my inner content.  Its a long stream of events that may include being a grain of sand, or less than that. Dust thou were and to dust thou shall return." Quantum physics again! I see this as  story now, told to me in a strange kind of perception of my mind and body, detached from it somehow, yet still 'in' it. Goethe saved my sanity somewhat when I read: "I saw not with the eyes of the body but with the eye of the soul." in Theodore Reiks incredible book: Fragment of a Great Confession. More about him later.

Learning to understand our 'now' as a cycle that's repeating in Time

Food for thought:  Arnold Toynbee's  book, Greek Thought contains selections from the writings of some Greek historians that he believed wrote about history honestly.
 I want to present one selection:
 The Burden of Rome, from Polybius Book VI, Chapter 57   because the content is specific and  it  reads as a description of  our present global condition:  "The disintegration and transformation to which everything in the Universe is exposed may really be taken for granted as a self evident corollary to the Uniformity of Nature. There are however two possible processes by which the disintegration of any given type of commonwealth may be effected—one external and the other internal; and while the external process is not amenable to scientific study, the internal obeys fixed laws."

"I have already described the successive phases of political development and the transitions from one phase to the other, sufficiently to enable readers capable of drawing the logical deductions from the present inquiry to forecast the future for themselves. In my opinion the future is clear.

In the case of any commonwealth which has repelled a series of acute dangers and has subsequently attained to a position of undisputed predominance and supremacy, it is evident that the violent influx of prosperity will produce a more extravagant standard of living and an excessively keen competition between individuals for office and other objects of ambition. "
"As these tendencies develop, a process of deterioration will be initiated by the thirst for office and the reproach of an undistinguished career, as well as by the pretentiousness and extravagance of the standard of living."
"The nominal responsibility for this transformation will attach to the masses, when they are inspired with a sense of injustice by the material greed of some of their masters, and with a false conceit by the material greed of some of their masters, and with a false conceit by the insincerity of others in pursuit of a political career. At this point the masses become so intensely exasperated and so completely guided by passion that they repudiate all subordination to or even equality with the upper classes and identify the interests of the community with their own."
"When this point is reached the commonwealth acquires the flattering appellations of liberty and democracy, while it is subjected to the appalling reality of the ‘despotism of the crowd.’"
There are so many changes that are happening in our 'now' stream of events, but there are more people alive now than have ever been alive that collectively know  much more about life on this planet. There are more  who can read and who do read and think for themselves, (lots of them are like me a female that had a real world problem that led to discovering her own thoughts have never been recorded in his story, history being his story, not her story. )
There is a mystery behind those changes but  many individuals are working on what the 'mystery' is, and experiencing it in a personal situation. If it's the same now as it was then when that historian described how a democracy is initiated,  a person has to wonder why this 'mysterious thing' continues through generations,  what it's purpose is, and what it's intending to convey in any 'now.

A few decades ago, I read that every thing that happens in an individual life happens eventually to the collective, which is the  bundled life of 'us', 'we', 'our' experiences that are collected, cached, stored, batched.  That pattern, as a cycle  is expressed in the now 'we' are living it yet  it was also obvious so long ago  and was written about at least by Greek historians.  Few uneducated individuals wrote about history, but that's the biggest change in this re-cyle of the pattern. Everyone can write their life story. The mystery of history is under our scope.
 I'm not the first woman to  want to  understand why the stereotyped patterns about life do not match up as accurate descriptions of every woman's  real world experiences, especially mine. I had  a limited social life, living in a small town so I  heard certain words much of  my life that  had no masculine counterpart but I didn't notice that until I was in my early 50's!  They were always remarks made  about a female. Until about 1985 when I read a chapter in a book about 'male' menopause  I had never heard 'male' and 'menopause' together! But I had seen the movie, Ash Wednesday which is a graphic movie about 'male menopause' in the exact form it was described in that chapter in a book I read in about 1980.
Another word  was 'neurotic' and it was always a female that was neurotic. But the most commonly heard was 'ball breaker'. I had to think for a while to form a masculine counterpart for that phrase, but  I'm not going to put it in print.

This post is about cycles in Time, patterns in Time that are configuring like a software program would our life now.  We can feel them, see them and are expected to deal with them individually. Perhaps we on the planet are going through 'mid life crisis', in a  state of neurosis and psychosis.

 The Greek historians knew there was a pattern, a cycle  that repeated and that cycle is repeating now. A few educated individuals in the past are still speaking now, thanks to Arnold Toynbee, who wrote about an experience he had as an eye witness to a scene in which he was in Ancient Rome!

The mind itself is under the microscope, in this cycle. How the mind participates in reality is under the microscope of more individuals in this cycle. The  operations and results of the transcendent function that I've tried to describe, as to its effects and its process of individualizng a particular life is almost as visible now as it will ever be.

There is evidence that the individual experience can be and should be understood by that individual, and when that happens the realization does mean something that benefits humanity overall. Too much has been written about the 'invisible world' and patterns in the past to dismiss that aspect of life as 'delusional' thinking. More about that later.

The 'Transcendent' functions in every day life

I've recently become more convinced that the 'transcendent function' itself is what creates so much disharmony everywhere and every when. That's because 'it' (the function itself) individualizes a persons' experiences to such a degree  over a long span of time as to seem impossible to a scientific oriented mindset. Its my experience that the symptoms of certain mental 'disorders' can be understood as attributes of the individuation process. I've never heard 'voices' myself, I've experienced thought that I didn't 'will', and speech that was spontanteous, but as I found out over a   length of time came from depths of mind below consciousness and my  and other's intents.

Its also possible that the ordinary individual, having no knowledge of such a process, can experience a sense of being the focus of some malignant attention from an 'other'. The 'other' can perhaps be a spouse,  a neighbor, the FBI, or some material world real persecutor. I've experienced several people who went into a different personality, a few somewhat returned to normal, just somewhat.
 A sprinkling of unusual events may open the door to the hidden world that lays 'hidden' behind a barrier that is language itself, that's how 'it' began to come to my attention. P. D. Ouspensky wrote that a person does not always recognize something new when it happens or one hears about it.  I discovered that myself , in a location where 'new things' happened in my own mind and thought,  between age 2-1/2 and my present age which is  almost 80 years and I didn't notice them myself. They were brought to my attention in an unusual method. I'm sure Emanuel Swedenborg named this 'method' as 'remains installed early in life in states of innocence' for use later in the process he named 'regeneration'. Regeneration is a good word to choose.

The first was an image of what I was looking at when I was 2-1/2 years old, which was 'fixed in my memory' complete in every detail, like a super photograph, because even a thought that occurred into my mind was part of that image. That was the unsuspected 'new' thing as I found out  decades later. That 'scene' then repeated during my life for no reason I could ever see, flashing into my mind extremely rapidly.  Eventuallly I wondered why that 'scene' flashed into my mind. That was a small degree of curiosity and attention but not enough to cause me to focus  on that re-occurring memory for more than a few seconds.

The scene, which I've mentioned before but will describe briefly again:  I was laying on a bed, directly overhead was a bare light bulb suspended from the rafter, it was not a ceiling in a house; that was the visual part. The audible part was that I heard wind coming through the cracks, I knew my new baby sister was laying on the same bed but her body was not in the scene. A thought occurred: "I am in a cold place." I never mentioned this to anyone else until one day in 1989 when I found the old one car garage my parents had rented in 1934, the day before it was to be torn down. My husband told me I could not possibly remember anything so young, but he got out of the car and talked to an old woman sitting on the porch  of the house next to the weather beaten garage. She verified everything. I took pictures and asked if I could have some engraved panels in the door. She told me to take whatever I wanted because the next day the garage was to be bulldozed away.
A different kind of scene was super-photographed when I was about 9 years old when a Sunday school teacher told her version of the birth of Jesus. I listened to her tell about how the messiah had been expected for so long but 'when it came it did not come as it was expected to come'. I remember thinking that the messiah was not an 'it', she should have said 'he', not it. The internal conversation about the messiah not being an 'it' re-occured for decades before my curiosity was somewhat 'turned on'. Only then  I wondered why that memory flashed into my mind.  I had never mentioned that memory to any one.

Only one 'event' cannot be enough to convince anyone else of the validity of a 'process in every day life' that is in fact a complete separation of an individual from the mass of individuals and an interface with that individual takes place.   A few somewhat similar events happened before I was a  teen ager, each different in content but similar in the unexplainable re-occurrance of the event into my mind. I didn't recognize them until I was in my 60's as having been installed early in life for later use, to make me understand that foresight or apparent foresight other than my own was obvious. At this point I believe there's an explanation in our biological connections to what's outside the body, and history as it's been described, for this 'apparent foresight'. Also it was obvious that my thought was as retrievable as the memory of the physical component of the moment.  I didn't recognize a description of similar re-occuring events in his life when I read it the first time, in A New Model Of The Universe by P. D. Ouspensky.

I've read a lot since 1983, when I first came into contact with ideas in psychiatry other than what I  had gleaned from the fictions that were my main reading material. I avoided non-fictions unless required in school or at work because they were  very boring. They didn't produce any  effect or comprehension. I had noticed that about myself when I did read One, Two Three, Infinity by George Gamow after my new husband read it in 1955.  Every word was easy  to read  but I didn't understand what the book was about. That was a small degree of self observation but I didn't think of it as 'self knowledge' then.

The two pages in the picture below are from The Bridge of San Luis Rey  by Thornton Wilder in which an abbess mentions a 'secret' and from Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke in which an alien tells a man about an 'abyss' across which 'few....unaided have ever found it.' There's a kind of literalness in these two abstractions from two different books. The title of the chapter, Perhaps An Intention, is perhaps important, and is in my opinion, it really is important information about 'it'.

The Temper of our Time

I've not posted for a few weeks because  so many things have happened that make me believe nothing can be said to describe or change certain aspects of our lives that really need to be described to be changed. It's easy to relate to H. G. Well's fatalistic essay in his last book, Mind at the End of its Tether .  He was my age (79) when he wrote : "The end of everything we call life is close at hand and cannot be evaded." and   "Something queer has come into life...." and "There is no way out or round or through." " ... life as we know it is at an end.".

 I've not played around with his contexts, the quoted words mean  exactly what they say. He died soon after writing that the 'end is near'.

The recent Casey Anthony trial has just blasted my belief that its possible to get at the truth somewhere: in courts. Last night I watched Maher's show and heard Neil de Grasse (wonderful man) say something that needed to be said: "more than 50% of our senators were/are lawyers. He asked: "Where are the scientists, the engineers, the accountants...?" . My hope that the legal process is really about justice and  that people will abide by the law has been shattered too, from experiences of my own. I was involved in a lengthy trial presided over by Judge Gary Little, (check that name on the Internet) but that was not the most instructive court situation I've been involved in.

The Anthony situation which so many people could watch in its entirety is  much more complex than the reality that's the theme of the play Rashomon. It's a play in which several people describe a rape, then  a murder but not one person saw the same event.  Every person experienced something so different than what others told had happened, that the priest is ready to give up his faith. If the truth could not be found it court, where else?
At the end of the play the only 'good' was that a torrential rain storm had kept four people in a sheltered location  long enough to talk about what had happened in a court, each telling their version. So they 'saw' the strangeness of human perception and memory. They saw a side of reality that really is real, nobody experiences an event the same way.  After the rain stopped a baby's cry was heard, someone had left an infant in the rubbish near the Gate so it was rescued although its future was uncertain even then. The priest learned a lot about reality and they saved an infant that had been 'dumped'. The play is supposed to be based in ancient Japanese folk tales so the strange aspect of human perception is not new or unknown.

I saw the play 50+ years ago and a thought occurred into my mind that the play probably explained why people quarrel so about reality. That thought stuck firmly in my understanding, partly because someone had told me I had imagined some things that seemed to me to really have happened. That incident probably created an unconscious interest in trying to prove to myself whether I imagined things. Or it was evidence of foresight other than my own.

But only recently I've read enough of  Freud's ideas in the origin of psychiatry and psycho-analysis to realize that what he really discovered was how invisible a person's understanding  is to the individual.  I suggest A. A. Brill's Freud's Contribution to Psychiatry, its available on google books. The discovery process itself has been difficult to identify, but it's obvious the ancients experienced the kind of relationship that individualizes 'life's events' and the results, the 'voice of the Time' that has been named the voice of Gaia.  That process is not going to be scientifically validated for a while, probably.
It's a good idea to know for your self what psychiatry is and its origins, which Theodore Reik wrote, originated in Freud's need to cure himself.

I've felt and heard the temper of the  'voice' of our Time, the main theme of which right now is: "this is the end of life as we know it". That doesn't need to imply negativity  because the word 'end' also means 'goal'. But the idea is embedded in many places, in advertisements, television shows and actual 'art' of every form.  It felt very 'strange' to hear a television advertisement 'speak' directly to me the way a person does. "The second world is here, and in the second world, all the rules are changed." I paused briefly, thinking ad men didn't have to make sense. Later  the memory of a few unusual events that had happened recently began to resurface often enough to arouse my curiosity. The words told me a fact that was happening, literally describing that a 'new world' was speaking. One event is not enough to believe, a steady stream of similar events had to happen.  A person that's not experienced that 'strangeness' will be unable to relate to that!  It's a voice that may be heard without knowing it is 'the' voice,  because it is created, abstracted from embeddedness some where and a new context is created, automatically and at an almost un-see-able speed!

I have reason to believe (with careful observation) what it 'says' to me because so many books have been written about 'it', but more as a result of hearing 'it' myself. That has happened to me and could be happening to others in the same form,  without consciousness and psychological awareness or prior knowledge about what 'neurosis-psychosis' really  is.  But the history and evolution since Freud wrote his version down,  of modern psychological interpretations is important to know about. That kind of understanding can't be gained from reading anything anywhere, its learned in a body. 
That's a different kind of 'sense' functioning and it produced in my opinion the works of Freud, Jung and  other authors who write about our modern process of psycho analysis,but that's another post I'll make.

The war between humans and electronic creatures is the main theme of so many  movies now. But to anyone that's not decently well read in philosophy, history and especially the pulp science fiction magazines I read (when I was able to find them, because my father hid them from me) there's no way to see how the themes intertwine, and are 'at one' the theme hasn't changed.  We seem to be electronic ourselves, flesh coated energy, perhaps are information that has to be discovered 'bit by bit' through so called 'coincidence'. Synchronization is what happened to me when books, events, thought, memories and two groups of individuals seemed to know what I was thinking but had not said aloud to any one. Those groups were at war with the mainstream, it was painful to be part of that war. We were literally 'leaving the mainstream to learn advanced and challenge levels of square dancing' but new ideas occurred to me, such as 'subracting my self from what was outside my body' so that I could 'see' my body and track the 'phantoms' when they were suddenly added to the set. That was a change so drastic its almost impossible for me to mention without feeling ashames that I'd not noticed even the basic forms of the square dance set.

 I was strangely fascinated by certain mirror image aspects of the dance that didn't make sense to me.

All aspects of our lives  were woven into a fragmented story, that assembled in my  mind much like a puzzle is assembled bit by bit, every one was in my private drama and that almost 'floored' me at times. The current books have in them  ideas that are the same themes;  in the stories of our time, read by  teen agers, young adults. Some of whom read and devour  Harry Potter as pure fantasy. I read them too but a lot that's not new is conveyed in them. The themes  in the Transformers, the Twilight 'phenomenon',  and in True Blood are making me think about the 'dark ages',  about paintings that depict a war between angels and demons that I saw in the Louvre, that are 700 years old.

 I've read a lot and recognized in reading philosophers from the past that it was obvious there's been an ongoing 'theme' in Time itself  that   'echoes' in the popular fictions of this point in Time:

Whether we are alone in the universe is the primary theme. That's what religion is basically concerned with isn't it?  But derived from it is another: whether there is really a war in Time  between two agencies, one that wants 'man' to find his own destiny and fights with the 'other one' which  wants to rule and decide for man.

From that theme  is derived:  whether electronic beings are real and will take over or  whether 'we' are them but cannot know it and be happy to 'serve' another level of intelligence.

Ira Levin's book, This Perfect Day is about a world where chance has been eliminated, its a perfect society where rain falls only at night, food is 'total cakes', and the word 'hate' is the filthiest word. There's a real shock at the end of the book, I won't reveal it but I felt it in my body when I turned a page and the entire past of the character 'Chip' was suddenly changed.  Read the book! That shock was used several times, retrieved, relived literally.

The ancient Liriope bore a son, Narcissus.  She asked Tiresias "Will my son live to old age?" If he never knows himself." was the answer. At a certain place  in his life, the beautiful Narcissus could not recognize his own reflection. (Thought is a reflection. This is important to take literally, he  could not see his own reflection.) A lonely female, Echo repeated the last words she heard him say because she'd been 'cursed' herself, she could only use (re-use)  words someone had said!!!  These are facts told long ago about a certain relationship that many females live today. They are writing books, but males are beginning to describe themselves accurately, too!!! I listened to Dr. Phil while writing this post, 8-16-2011, (maybe its available to view on the Internet?) and heard with the new (to me its still new)  sense that created a new understanding, how those 'fictions' are acted out in our 'now'.

"Behold I make all things new." means something to me and its likely that is what the interactive force is supposed to accomplish.

The fictions  of our time and of the ancients are 'about' something real in reality in our Time itself or outside of what has been named time. It can't  be defined by naming the present as 'now' because it's a point that's moving constantly. Do you remember when the space between one second and another was fixed, stable?  I know that more people 'get that message' today than in my generation.

What is our future? That space has expanded in the years since 1984, and apparently can continue expanding.
 There seems to me to be a lot of prophecy embedded in science fictions. I'm reading Arthur C. Clarke's Rama II, published in 1989 in which he and co-author Gentry Lee described prophetically  much of our current situation, the collapse of banking, especially and the corruption and inaction of politicians. In 1989 they described aspects of our 'now'.  But David Bowman, a fictional character in 2001 is in 2010 alive, being educated by an invisible presence, he's learning a lot but he's not in a body! He feels that presence but can't see it and he knows he is being manipulated but not why.
Discovering that invisible presence is a task that requires isolation and experiences in the real world, in my opinion. It is not depersonalizing without being ultra-personalizing at the same time.

I wonder who should make the rules and what can make the rulemakers address real problems and solve them so that everyone feels somewhat secure that good judgment prevails unless its by 'twice born' individuals? That's my question today.  But my own answer is that it may be that way already.

The ancients had the same problems but one real  fact has changed: now the 'slaves' can write books and publish their experiences  themselves. Cameras are everywhere. Its getting hard to lie. Any one can get on the Internet and publish real events because cameras are in the hands of those (of us) who often couldn't prove anything by merely telling their version of what happened, as  happened in Rashomon.  A picture is worth millions of words. 

Synchronistic events are not 'visionary' experiences.

The truth is sometimes literally 'funny'.

From my own experience I know they are every day events, that are 'like' particles in the processes of individuation, 'bits of information' in the context of F. David Peat's idea of an 'interactive force'.

The first  'coincidental' event that happened to me didn't produce a sense of awe, wonder, or curiosity. Let me describe it: I went to a friends house for coffee one spring morning. She was unusually happy because it was her birthday and her husband had given her not one birthday card but two.  I read both cards and  made appropriate remarks about what a thoughtful man her husband was. I had noticed that he seemed attentive and helpful and perhaps I felt envy, just a tad of envy, nothing else.

When I left I went to a pick up some pictures I'd left to be developed from a roll of film I'd found in our van when I cleaned it. The roll of film was under a seat and I had no idea what pictures were on it or how long the film had been laying there. When I riffled through them I realized they were from the last trip  my husband and I had taken in the fall, several months ago.
 One image made me feel 'funny'. It was a picture of myself wearing a bathing suit, a pink sweater over it, running through the  silvery sunset tinged surf, waving my hand at my  husband who was taking the picture. Then I recognized that this picture was virtually identical to one of the cards my friend's husband had given her! It had a woman, wearing a swimsuit topped by a pink sweater, waving as she ran through silvery sunset tinged surf.
I didn't think about the timing for very long except that  it did seem unusual that just on that day I picked up the old roll of film,  she had a card that was identical  not just basically but in such specific detail. I thought about showing the card to her, but decided not to mention it. It was just an 'event', nothing personal and the word 'coincidence' did not occur to me.
I forgot that event  until another similar event happened, then another, then others happened more frequently, not always similar in content except that the timing seemed to be unlikely, even impossible to happen once in a lifetime.
 How could it happen that I am driving, we are in heavy traffic and suddenly I  hear myself blurt out that I don't feel like myself any more, that I'm going to change my name to Ju-anna. And I've not thought about that before; the words spontaneously came out of my mouth, unwilled by me!  Suddenly a white van passes from the passenger side to in front of me, dangerously close then veers into the left lane and speeds away but I saw the first vanity plate  I've noticed it was letters:  DJWANNA. The letters decoded themselves spontanteously into Do you want to? Then a 'second sight' (literally)  revealed that they repeated what I'd just said my  name was: 'Ju-anna'! Different letters, same sound! "Did you see THAT?" I yelled and tried to speed up to make sure I'd seen what it seemed I'd seen but traffic made that a dangerous thing to do so I didn't think more about it. That was in 1983 probably.


Then over a span of a few years (1982-1989) similar  and a variety of other 'kinds' of unusual  events happened. Some were all in my mind, a kind of content that I'd never had in the past, or so I believed at the time.  Occasionally I noticed thoughts that occurred that seemed faint, they were not quite words somehow, but were a suggestion of words, like a fragrance identifies an object before its visible. I watched two such events  advance to becoming real words in my mind! Then later that content met its exact match on the jacket of a book, An Imagined World, by June Goodfield!!!! I felt 'funny' when I read about Anna Brito, who 'caught a  sudden glimmer of possibility; she observed a pattern that had hitherto been unnoticed or ignored and she began to think of explanations for what she'd seen. Her superiors weren't very impressed, but she persisted, thanks not only to tenacity but to inexperience--a mind uncluttered by pre-conceptions...." There was a faint sense of more words in my thought, added to words on the jacket but they were in the book!  That variety of inner content began to accumulate, it became a stream that gradually paralleled the understanding of my 'normal' experience, built up from every day situations at times, but not always. I could see the accretion of the new understanding and how it was built as I lived, from events in my life in a perception that was new to me, unfamiliar and it made me feel 'funny' very nearly constantly by 1984 and afterwards until about 1995. I'd become comfortable and familiar with this 'funny stuff' and I could relate to my own  inner content when it emerged, and at times say it aloud in it's 'now'.  As a comparison I remember having a different understanding, before I was 5 decades in age.
I noticed that certain new (to me) content was 'inserted' into my mind. Example: The word 'overt' came to mind one day, then it re-occurred until I wondered why. Then the word 'covert' began to 'haunt' me the same way. I wrote the words down one day and laughed (to myself) when I saw that the difference between the two words was also a similarity, the word 'see' and the letter 'c'. An overt thing can be seen, a covert thing cannot be seen.  It meant nothing to me then, but much experience followed so now I realize the words were telling me something, they suggested that an 'overt' thing and a 'covert' thing was happening.

 The words 'the numinous is hard to bear ' occurred into my mind, spontaneously one day in 1985 and I wondered what the 'numinous' was. I looked it up but didn't understand the definition. (I remembered that in the past I'd been able to understand dictionary definitions but now I could not.)  Then within a few days I read the word in a book, Contact by Carl Sagan which I was reading then. That book made me feel 'funny' all the way through it and I 'met' ideas in it that I'd never known about.
The word 'palimpsest' began to hang around in my thought after reading the book, then a most amazing thing happened soon after that when the book's main theme which was about a message that was a palimpsest took root in my mind, and seemed relevant to me.  I noticed that a new context  at times emerged in my thought, automatically produced, and immediately, so quickly that it took a few years (2 at least) to identify was a kind of 'echo' of content that had occurred into my thought. Or from what I was looking at at the moment. It began like a 'drip'  then became a deluge,  that changed over a span of years. (My next post will be more explicit about this and how it began.)
I realized the thing was 'talking' to me, this 'interactive force', which is how I thought of it after reading F. David Peat's book in1989. There was a replay of content literally. , At times this was thoughts that occurred about something I was doing or thinking about; the content re-occurred in a bundle, no space between words, but a different  kind of hearing the bundle turned the words towards me, and simultaneously formed a personal 'bit of information'. This had to happen in one specific situation where I  could see this happen,  but the word 'echo' is good too.
The timing was what should have puzzled me, should have aroused curiosity but I'm a slow learner. 
 The duration, the span of time through which  this kind of event happened convinced me that there was a purpose other than my own behind them. I could see that I didn't will them and could not have understood them myself because  the new meaning was produced, given to me in a variety of forms. Some could be recognized immediately, others required certain events in the real world to happen later. There were incidents where suddenly  memories from a very early age were retrieved and  linked to 'right now' , and they had information in them, only then.

I'd not read anything about  psychiatric ideas and when I began trying to describe my experiences to a psychiatrist I didn't realize this was a 'kind' of experience that has psychiatric names and definitions until one day I asked to read what a therapist wrote while she listened to me! I was puzzled then outraged.
 It was obvious she recognized a pattern but nothing I'd actually said was on the record. Nobody who read that report would know what I'd talked about. That may be different now, when psychiatric names and definitions are everywhere in news, movies, television shows like NCIS, CSI.  Hearing names is not likely to convey the kind of meaning that experience does. I've read a lot but it was 'events' that produced a new understanding.

This post has  some examples that I'm using to try to make a point about how these kinds of unusual 'events' that  produces the process of individuation, but more than that: information, fragments at  a time usually. But there's a lot I didn't know then about  history, especially the origin of psychoanalysis, nothing about my own  mind, thought, mechanisms that alter thought, (even changing the direction of my own thought, so that its 'heard' the way another person would be heard.) (That's a really big change!) And noticing how much spontaneous content that is not self willed or self generated occurs,  just comes into my mind, its thought embedded, but that it was not my own thought took a long time to become curious about, and attentive towards.

 Especially I could not have suspected depths of mind exist or that there's a variety of inner content that may  not be available for articulation for a long span of time. There are levels in the mind where content occurs that  requires years of attention turned towards 'me' as an object, an observer to 'me' as an actor and its own audience because there is at this point, (and not before) a point where  both inner and outer world interfaces, becoming one.. When that kind of event occurred at first there was no sense of 'numinosity', only a kind of 'dizzy-ness', momentary confusion, wierdness. I don't rule numinosity out, but words need to get connected to their real world meaning, in lives. That's where meaningful coincidence is an 'interactive, information generating force'. The word 'numinous' doesn't attach itself automatically to any event.

There is a consensus that there's a thin line between normal experience and the kind of experience that is essential to a process of individuation. 
"There are certain dangers that are not necessarily associated with psychosis, which is a common diagnosis;  ignorance that such a process exists; the span of time over which the process evolves; and the fragmented, non-linearity of related events, as well as the apparent doubleness; literally an alternate to 'normal' reality emerges. Its there already.

What some authors have named 'numinous events'' does not always seem to be anything but 'strange', unreal. I can only understand what I've experienced myself, and there was a distinct loss of volition but also a distinct change in perception and thoughts.

I hope this is useful information to other individuals like myself, who didn't  know what 'psychosis' is, and do not suspect what the content of 'psychotic thinking'  is, what kind of 'events' are psychotic, when it can vary so greatly in content. When the content is so explicitly related to what the 'I' that's observing  understands with 'my' normal way of getting meaning, it can turn reality upside down, inside out.  I hope these posts and the examples I give are  re-assuring and helpful. It's difficult to live through the apparently  'non-numinous' when years of events have to occur, and there's no linearity of events.

Easter Sunday 2011, I Read Matthew 13 and understand "illustrations'

Click to enlarge the image.

These images show a reflection of a box that fascinated me after I noticed a third invisible compartment in it that was useless and is invisible from some perspectives. It triggered a variety of object generated 'thought' about what is 'invisible' and why its visible in a reflection from the object. The use-less compartment in the box is visible in the upper image, left side bottom. I had a moebius band that was clear plastic and I had photographed it  in some strange places, laid it on snow, hung it from a tree branch, my impulses were directing me to do such purposeless things.

 I was watching my body from a new eye and ear as I lived my ordinary life. 

 What  did  Jesus mean when he talked in 'illustrations' to the crowds that followed him and then in  private the disciples asked why he spoke to them by the use of  illustrations'? 

What does this quotation refer to, if it's not a reference to a special 'sense'? THE BIBLE:


"Let the one that has an ear listen to what THE Spirit sayeth unto* the CHURCHES(CONGREGATIONS). To him that conquers I will give some of the hidden manna. and I will give him a white pebble and upon the pebble a new name written which no one knows except the one receiving it.

A conversation between myself and a person that is 'strictly material world oriented' caused me to read Matthew last week. As I read chapter 13, there was a 'sense' behind my ordinary thought that what we experience today in a different way, pathological thinking in some cases,  was ordinary when the Bible was the most shared book, even before printing presses made it available to everyone. 

 Matthew 13:3- 13:9 "A sower went out to sow; and as he was sewing some (seeds) fell alongside the road and the birds came and ate them up. Others fell upon the rocky places where they did not have much soil and at once they sprang up because of not having any depth of soil. But when the sun rose they were scorched and because of not having any roots they withered. Others too fell among the thorns and the thorns came up and choked them. Still others fell upon the fine soil and they began to yield fruit, this one a hundredfold, that one sixty, the other thirty." "Let him that has ears listen. " His disciples asked why he spoke by the use of 'illustrations".

13:11 In reply he said: "To you it is granted to understand the sacred secrets of the kingdom of the heavens, but to those people it is not granted. For whoever has, more will be given him and he will be made to abound; but whosoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. This is why I speak to them in illustrations because looking they look in vain, and hearing they hear in vain, neither do they get the sense of it.  

Then He explains the 'illustration' of the sower and its not about seeds at all:
13:18 thru 13: 24  "You then listen to the illustration of the man that sowed. Where anyone hears the word of the kingdom but does not get the sense of it the 'wicked one' comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is the one sown alongside the road. As for the one sown upon the rocky places this is the one hearing the word and accepting it with joy. Yet he has no root in himself but continues for a time and after tribulation or persecution has arisen on account of the word he is at once stumbled. And as for the one sown among thorns this is the one hearing the word but the anxiety of this system of things and the deceptive power of riches choke the word and he becomes unfruitful. And as for the one sown upon the fine soil, this is the one hearing the word and getting the sense of it, who really does bear fruit and produces this one, one hundred fold, that one sixty, the other thirty."
 Then he tells other 'illustrations'  based on what He had already said: "The kingdom of the heavens has become 'like' a man that sowed fine seed in his field. While men were sleeping his enemy came and oversewed  weeds among the wheat and left".

He  further describes the 'kingdom of the heavens'  by the use of 'illustrations'.
The kingdom of the heavens is 'like' a tiny mustard seed that in maturity is a fine lodging for the birds of heaven.
The kingdom of the heavens is 'like' leaven which a woman hid in three large measures of flour until the whole mass is fermented."
Then speaking to the  crowds by using 'illustrations'  which He says He does to fulfil prophecy, after dismissing the crowds  His disciples came to Him and asked that He explain the 'illustration' of the weeds in the field. In response He said: "The sower of the fine seed is the Son of man, the field is the world. As for the fine seed these are the sons of the kingdom but the weeds are the sons of the wicked one and the enemy that sowed them is the Devil.The harvest is a conclusion of a system of things and the reapers are angels. Therefore just as the weeds are collected and burned with fire so it will be in the conclusion of the system of things.The Son of man will send forth his angels and they will collect out from his kingdom all things that cause stumbling  and persons doing lawlessness and they will pitch them into the furnace;  there is where their weeping and gnashing of their teeth will be. At that time the righteous ones will shine as brightly  as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let him that has ears listen.

Then He  continues:  "The kingdom of the heavens is 'like' a treasure hidden in a field which a man found and  for the joy he has he sells everything he owns  to buy the field. "
"The kingdom of the heavens is 'like' a traveling merchant seeking pearls who sees one fine pearl of great value  and promptly sold all he had and bought it."
"The kingdom of the heavens is 'like' a dragnet let down into the sea, gathering up every kind of fish, the fine are kept and the unsuitable ones thrown  away."
"That is how it will  be in the conclusions of the system of things...." "Did you get the 'sense' of all these things."  His disciples answer "Yes."  then He says: another ' illustration':
"That being the case every public instructor when taught respecting the kingdom of the heavens  is 'like' a man, a householder who brings out of  his treasure store things that are new and old."

What did Jesus intend to convey when he talked in 'illustrations' to the crowds that followed him and then in private the disciples asked why he spoke to them by the use of illustrations?
I believe He introduced the very idea of a  'kingdom of the heavens' and what It is 'like', what it 'is' and how It was experienced even 2000+ years ago when a new 'system of things' was begun.

I'm thinking after reading Matthew that the 'illustrations" are the use of  art  is to force the mind to think of 'things'  that cannot be seen. Recently I read the same remark in a  graphic cartoon book about calculus: "What is the use of calculus?" The answer was: "To force the mind to think of things that cannot be seen."

More on this topic will follow. I believe the sacred secrets of the kingdom of the heavens are revealed by the transcendental function, as Freud described what he believed is a function of mind that I've mentioned several times. This function creates 'ambiguous sayings' and more, much  than that, a conversation between an individual and the kingdom of the heavens.

I'd like to suggest Maurice Nicoll's book, The Mark or The New Man  and his Living Time and Integration of the Life but a willingness to learn  more about  history and origins of our modern psychiatry  is necessary to 'get the sense' of what the 'extra sense' conveys and how it conveys information  to an individual. A specific individual.

An example, a personal experience, this was the first of its kind' happened to me  in the summer of 1984,  I was sewing, emersed in thought one day. The television  was on  but ignored until my attention was plucked from my intense reveries to the words  coming  from the television: "The second world is here and in the second world all the rules are changed." It was shocking, literally to hear those words. For a few minutes I thought about how advertisements didn't have to make sense, then I went back to my sewing. Until the words re-occurred into my thought along with memories of a few events that had happened fairly recently when I'd felt 'wierd', dizzy. They were just normal events but somehow something 'else' than normal. Then the words began to make sense, they were being said directly to me,'who had the ear' then. They explained the 'new world' that was beginning to speak to me.  It was a few weeks before the Los Angeles Olympic Games opened that it happened, that I heard the television talk to me the way a person would but it  was only an advertisment for a new automobile. Or was it the 'extra sense' at work?  It was both. It was only the beginning of a long process of synchronization between my inner content and the material world's events

I repeat this as I do other ideas that  need to be emphasized and held in conscious understanding, as a foundation for what I write,  its from a book, Oedipus authored by Patrick Mullahy and its only in a Footnote, (!!!!) page 507. I believe 'illustrations' and 'reflections' (both definitions) create the 'voice' attribute of events.


"Often in explaining his ideas Freud resorts to analogies or conceptions from the physical world. Another conception of his is “that among the psychic functions there is something which should be differentiated (an amount of affect, a sum of excitation), something having all the attributes of a quantity—although we possess no means of measuring it—a something which is capable of increase, displacement and discharge and which extends itself over the memory traces of an idea like an electric charge over the surface of the body…for the present it is justified by it’s utility in correcting and explaining diverse psychical conditions. Collected papers, Vol I, p.75"