Starting with a point in the center.

This is an interesting image, it begins with one whole and a point in it's center, successively divided by one line, then 3 lines to form a triangle, 4 lines make a square, five point star, etc. Every number except 2 lines has been used to create a form on a flat image of a circle. Circles have been a generator of thought on many levels in mathematics but less commonly in psychology as the 'ego'. Where is the center of 'me', or am "I" the whole and the dividing into parts creates a confusion at times ( purposefully it seems to me) of what is reality? But a circle is  flat.

 

I used to wonder how a sphere could be drawn, how would the lines on this image appear on/in a sphere?  The question formed after I'd  read Flatland by Abbott then by chance, (that's where I can see purpose is at work in my life)  Sphereland by Dionys Burger, then  read as though some foresight other than mine had arranged the sequence The Persian King Allegory by Charles Hinton. Thought about 'dimensions' and 'points of view'  within me, in my mind grew slowly, evolving when I became aware of different  thought than was normal for me, but there were changes in how things  looked and sounded outside my body too.  

 

I just watched a news video that showed how the first real 3 dimensional image of our sun had been made. It also proved the sun is round.

                                                      88888

I thought I'd discovered the 'moebius twist point' until by accident I saw a mathematical equation for it. This YouTube video comes close to illustrating it but not how I became aware of it, bit of information by bit of information over a span of several decades. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX3VmDgiFnY

 Hinton's book, Scientific Romances is not about surfaces but about interiors of a king's mind, after he is led across an abyss into an isolated land. He has to figure out how to motivate creatures that lay about listlessly, and he decides they must require feeling more pleasure than pain so he absorbs a measure of their pain himself. That difference creates activity and a busy civilization, but as time passes the amount of pain the king absorbs becomes unbearable so he has to leave them, inert again and he is led away by the being that led him into isolation. Do I have a similar need, to feel more pleasure than pain?

I remember something that happened at about the same time I read The Persian King. It was a foxglove bloom in my yard  that had the shape of a nautilus shell, the  familiar chryslys  form;  the form so often associated with the Fibonacci sequence, 1,1,2,3,5,8... and certain ideas in quantum physics. That shape is a circle opened up, this foxglove had a door in it!

 

 This was an unusual foxglove plant, it was thought provoking too, in fact it generated thought that I would not have experienced ever, except in my experiences with this foxglove and its progeny after 1989 until this year, 2013. As I looked at it "I" began to think about it's 'spirituality', i.e.,  it's attributes, characteristics, qualities, etc and the strange fact that it is both life saving and death dealing. A lot of thought was produced when I noticed how unusual it was. Every stalk had a different kind of bloom at the top. I'd never seen anything like it but every year it  has re-produced and foxgloves aren't supposed to do that.  Until 1995 I'd always had a plant that produced round blooms on the top of each stalk;  I thought of them as a mandala flower.  Then as a result of thinking about 'dimensions' and how a sphere really can't be drawn, somehow that impossibility caused me to think my center could be anyplace at any time in one of the layers I couldn't see in my mind. What if my 'soul's eye'  looked out at the world from different locations in my mind? (I  had become convinced there is a soul eye , after reading that Goethe mentioned he saw not with the eye of the body but the eye of the soul).

What if "I" was looking within my mind, and seeing from it at the same time, but sensing purposefulness  behind even the distress and discomfort at times, where motivation didn't just happen? What ever is 'me' now,  its not always a center point in a Cartesian like three dimensional space, with 'ego' in one place, it can be moved anywhere without any awareness of crossing from one 'part' to another. I hope this makes sense?  I  began to wonder whether all the different problems I had with people in my life, and with situations that caused me a lot of inner turmoil happened because I didn't understand the value of unpleasant situations and thoughts.  

 If other people are like me, it takes something really unusual to cause me to think about thinking, and what produces it. Thinking about the kind of thinking that was produced (or generated) by objects or situations has evolved from a point where my 'eye' was like the center point on a circle, when every thing was 'flat'. The sphere within 'me' extends back into history and very certainly into the future at times. What if I'd merely glanced at the strange (to me) book,  Flatland, then Sphereland and passed them. Or ignored the strange title of Charles Hinton's Scientific Romances, seeminlgy unrelated? 

There are quite a few images of my foxgloves from1989 to last summer.

http://s138.photobucket.com/albums/q251/ayesha32/

A planet that 'speaks', and how it creates it's language

  When I chanced to read Men Who Have Walked With God by Sheldon Cheney in 1986, I was informed for the first time in my  54 years old mind that Socrates mentioned the 'god within that tells us about our universe' and that he didn't fear death  so he willingly drank the hemlock. This was an utterly new idea to  me as were the stories about the other men who had 'walked' and been talked to by God!!

I read only fictions unless absolutely necessary and was even proud of it!!! I grew up in a very restricted environment and was not aware of it until one day I heard myself say to a woman I knew,  she wasn't a friend but she was an important presence in my life as I found out later, something I'd not thought about myself.  I heard myself suddenly tell her that it seemed to me I'd been raised like one of those animals in scientific experiments, in a cage, with blinders on. I'd lived without  seeing certain things and I'd had certain experiences but like a mouse in a scientific experiment, they were limited.  I  heard myself tell her that it seemed to me suddenly I was taken from the cage, the blinders removed and I was put into a giant maze where I had to run and look for 'something'. I'd find a little of 'something' and I could rest a while but then I had to go back into the maze to find more 'something'. I didn't know what 'something' was. I did not suspect then that the maze was my every day life and the circumstances in my family at that point.

 It was a few years later that the memory of the conversation was retrieved in my mind and I wondered only then, and vaguely not with a lot of curiosity, why I'd said something to her that I'd not thought about myself and had no reason to say to her!!! That is an example of how the 'depths began to enter into my everyday life, through 'embedded in the ordinary' situations.

In a casual conversation we had later, she mentioned to me that people seemed to open up to her;  they told her things they wouldn't tell other people. She also mentioned she'd felt she might be going 'crazy' because she knew a woman that seemed to be able to read her thoughts, and  that's 'thought broadcasting and ideas of reference' which are symptoms of schizophrenia.

 I'd never heard or read those symptoms but soon afterwards I had reason to look for the definition of 'ideas of reference' in a dictionary and it was a psychiatric dictionary: "Delusional associations formed from irrational sources." I didn't know what 'irrational sources' were at that point in Time. It's a specific part of reality that is difficult to describe and impossible to validate except at the pattern level, in my opinion which is from my own experiences.

Emanuel Swedenborg is only one of the authors who have described their  mental experience in life and if their work had not come to my attention, I'm sure my own mental world would never have become distinct to me as a world, with space, time with flora and fauna that's different than the physical world.  I would have lived my entire life believing my thoughts, impulses, habits were 'me'.

P. D. Ouspensky's books as I've mentioned several times came to me before I read the first quotation from Swedenborg in a book authored by Wilson van Dusen, The Presence of Other Worlds. It contained the term 'double thought' which I read and paused to wonder about what it could mean, but only briefly. That was an unrecognized irrational 'bit of information'  aimed at me before I'd  had experiences and information that would cause me to recognize the two words were being 'said to me'. They described to me an aspect of my own thought that had begun to operate on and in the most private content  as well as the visible content in my life.

 The term 'double thought' became meaning-filled to me one day in 1987 when I was at work and a thought occurred into my mind as a result of what I was physically doing at Boeing in the Auburn fabrication building where I worked. I was having some unusual events and this was only one of them:  I walked onto a metal grid floor that suddenly seemed invisible because a light was in the room below the floor. The thought was that I seemed to be able to see around me but also what was going on below me.   I noticed very distinctly that the thought was 'batched' into a unit with no spaces between the words and the 'unit' was repeated so immediately and at such speed that it was nearly undetectable. It had the effect of 're-hearing' thought produced by what I was doing.  I had begun to notice this 'effect', and be curious about it over a span of 2 very long years.

The repeated 'unit' seemed to be spoken to me the way a person would speak to me. That attribute was distinct in this specific event. Finally.  

In the early 1950's I watched a documentary of John Lilly and his work with dolphins and how he  learned to communicate with them. I remember a thought that occurred into my mind as I watched the show: "I wonder what it must feel like to learn a language from a creature so different as a man must be to those dolphins?"   That thought re-occurred into my mind afterwards  over a span of years for no reason that I could see and eventually because there was no connection to anything I wondered why the  thought  repeated. This thought and the content, which is about learning a new language from some 'thing' that is more than unexpected in how it 'talked' to me, were installed earlier in life for use later.  Swedenborg described them as 'remains' and Ouspensky mentioned he had 're-occurring memories' that had a peculiar sense that marked them.  There were a few other 're-occurring thoughts', quite different in content and eventually I wondered about them also.

Sometime in 1988 as best I can date it I noticed a Thinking Allowed documentary of John Lilly, From Here to Alternity and decided to watch it only because his name was familiar. I was stunned but delighted when he mentioned Earth Coincidence Control Office, ECCO. Although the word 'echo' had been coming to my attention in several different situations that had nothing to do with 'coincidences' to me. But  when he mentioned ECCO I felt a link between what I had begun to name and think about as the Larger Domain. "HE KNOWS ABOUT THE LARGER DOMAIN!"  

The word 'coincidence' had never occurred to me as a definition for the way my own thought was seeming to be linked to what was happening outside of my body.

 This is a recent find on the Internet: The rose colored highlights are my additions.

"EARTH : COINCIDENCE : CONTROL : OFFICE “There is an invisible force, entity, or organization of higher dimension that controls what we think are coincidental events in everyday situations. John C. Lilly called it ECCO. According to John, ECCO also seems to control human evolution, as well as reverberating  with the idea of  synchroncity  that was mentioned  by C. G. Jung;  implicate order of David Bohm (it's all a matter of 'wizzywig' i.e wysiwyg); non-local communication network of Bell’s Theorem, contingent system of Lyall Watson, and cybernetic network of Gregory Bateson who wrote that .(paranoia is 'like' knowledge)"

This is a quotation from C. G. Jung's Red Book which was recently published,:

In I9I8, Jung wrote a paper entitled "On the unconscious," where he noted that all of us stood between two worlds: the world of external perception and the world of perception of the unconscious.
This distinction depicts his experience at this time. He wrote that Friedrich Schiller had claimed that the approximation of these two worlds was through art. By contrast, Jung argued, "I am of the opinion that the union of rational and irrational truth is to be found not so much in art as in the symbol per se; for it is the
essence of the symbol to contain both the rational and irrational.",


Symbols, he maintained, stemmed from the unconscious, and the creation of symbols was the most important function of the unconscious. While the compensatory function of the unconscious was always present, the symbol-creating function was present only when we were willing to recognize it Here, we see him continuing to eschew viewing his productions as art. It was not art but symbols which were of paramount importance here. The recognition and recuperation of this symbol-creating power is portrayed in Liber Novus. It depicts Jung's attempt to understand the psychological nature of symbolism and to view his fantasies symbolically. He concluded that what was unconscious at any given epoch was only relative, and changing. What was required now was the "remolding of our views in accordance with the active forces of the unconscious." Thus the task confronting him was one of translating the conceptions gained through his confrontation with the unconscious, and expressed in a literary and symbolic manner in Liber Novus, into a language that was compatible with the contemporary outlook.

Ernst Cassirer's Language and Myth is a slender book , it's a discussion of the 'form' of
myth and it's origins. The 'form' itself seems to me to be as Jung wrote, a pattern inherent in 'man' but parables in the Bible are that 'form'.

The Science of synchronicity

There's something about acquiring 'wisdom' that requires learning to get information from every day content, much as Freud and Jung 'discovered' there was meaning in 'every day pathology';  interpreting as an artist does, not always dreams but whatever is brought to one's attention in a certain way. There's a difference and sometimes that can be a shock!  Literally.  About language P. D. Ouspensky says better than I can say and I'm repeating this from my first post: "It must be admitted that language is a weak and inadequate vehicle even for the expression of our usual understanding of things, to say nothing of those moments when the understanding unexpectedly expands and becomes deeper, and we see revealed an entire series of facts and relations for the description of which we have neither words nor expressions. But quite aside from this, in ordinary conditions of thinking and feeling, we are frequently at a loss for words, and we use one word at different times to describe different things"


"No study of occult philosophy is possible without an acquaintance with symbolism, for if the words occultism and symbolism are correctly used, they mean almost one and the same thing. Symbolism cannot be learned as one learns to build bridges or speak a foreign language, and for the interpretation of symbols a special cast of mind is necessary; in addition to knowledge, special faculties, the power of creative thought and a developed imagination are required.
But even then a special training of the mind is necessary, in order to comprehend the "language of the Initiates", and to express in this language the intuitions as they arise. There are many methods for developing the "sense of symbols" in those who are striving to understand the hidden forces of Nature and Man, and for teaching the fundamental principles as well as the elements of the esoteric language. The most synthetic, and one of the most interesting of these methods, is the Tarot"

Freud described a somewhat similar idea which I will quote again verbatim because it's important: "Often in explaining his ideas Freud resorts to analogies or conceptions from the physical world. Another conception of his is “that among the psychic functions there is something which should be differentiated (an amount of affect, a sum of excitation), something having all the attributes of a quantity—although we possess no means of measuring it—a something which is capable of increase, displacement and discharge and which extends itself over the memory traces of an idea like an electric charge over the surface of the body…for the present it is justified by it’s utility in correcting and explaining diverse psychical conditions. Collected papers, Vol I, p.75" This is the transcendental function: , 'which extends itself over the memory traces of an idea 'like' an electric charge.

(Freud didn't  name this function as the 'transcendental function'   it was Jung  who did describe it as being a function similar to a mathematical function. I believe this is an accurate description of the transcendental function: some ‘thing’ having all the attributes of a quantity, "capable of increase, displacement and discharge and which extends itself over the memory traces of an idea 'like' an electric charge over the surface of the body...that's an encyclopedia of implication. That function sorts out, creates significance, importance and relationship in the process of self observation, and life re-view, it brought my central idea to my attention over a span of decades, sorting it out from millions of books, trillions of words.)
What I know about synchronicity as a language that taught itself to me, from a state of ignorance  about it's existence has caused me to believe there's a scientific way to validate individual experience, a pattern that many individuals do experience without any validation. What I know and understand about 'synchronicity' now is the result of 75 years of experiences because  the first memory I had on this planet had a 'double context', a 'double meaning' and that's where 'meaningful coincidences' arise. The memory re-occurred throughout my life, a memory that was as complete as the moment had happened and eventually (I'm a slow learner) I wondered why it flashed briefly into my mind. It was a photograph of what I was looking at, a bare light bulb above me;  how I felt, cold; what I heard, the wind whistling through boards of the one car garage my parents were renting in 1934; the knowledge that my new baby sister was laying on the same bed;  and a thought that occurred into my mind: "I am in a cold place."
 
That re-occuring memory  of a physical world moment had a literal and a psychological context relating to being born in the depression  to barely educated teen aged parents. Several events happened before I was   13 years old, that formed a foundation for recognizing foresight into our lives, by re-occurring into my mind for no reason I could see. Anyone would be curious eventually and wonder about those 'ghosts along the backroads of the mind.' They marked the back roads of the mind.  Who would suspect there are levels  in the mind that produce content that cannot be related to immediately?
 
 When Mt. St. Helens blew her dusty innards on May 18, 1980 at 8:32 a.m, the eruption from my own depths had begun, but that's a fact that took about 2 decades to emerge as an acceptable idea.
 
At times, in a few events there was a synchronization between not just my own inner content  but with activities that involved a  group of other people I knew then. That's important  to get that fact established that it was not a private synchronization there were other people and events in the outside world acting and speaking in my private contexts.  This is not unusual experience, it's happening more and more today to individuals who know nothing about Ouspenskiy,  Jung, Freud, or history itself.  Literalness has a lot to do with how synchronization in an individualizing process becomes distinct, it creates self reference as well as creating a kind of conversation,  if other people experience anything similar. Literally two small groups of individuals were somewhat at war with each other and the mainstream square dancers in our area in the early 1980's.

That memory was a snap shot of what was in front of me at the moment the thought occurred to me, as well as a thought that occurred into my mind: "I am in a cold place."  There's another term  that's  probably not familiar to anyone reading this blog:  'double thought',  and  yet another name that may surprise some readers, thought broadcasting/ideas of reference. These are defined as symptoms of delusional thinking because the contexts and content are not at this time validated by scientists, because a process of individuation is not recognized.

A Sunday Morning in November, revised 11-15-2010

"Somebody said that it couldn't be done, at least nobody ever has done it." Edgar Guest.

“It is possible to believe that all the past is but the beginning of a beginning, and that all that is and has been is but the twilight of the dawn. It is possible to believe that all the human mind has ever accomplished is but the dream before the awakening”—H. G. Wells, 24 January 1902, lecture given at the Royal Institute, London. “The Discovery of the Future”.


I believe everyone has an opportunity to do something in life  that nobody has ever done before, it's our reason for being and becoming an individual. Emanuel Swedenborg wrote that every person has a particular 'genius' which I interpret to mean a particular task in life,  that no other person has. That's probably where the processes of individuation occur. Discovering a process of life that individualizes every event has been a small part of my task in life but it's our collective task also.  Recognizing it was being shown to me was the larger part, I didn't go looking for anything. I now believe we each and all are required to locate that 'sequestered hidden world within' because that's where the task is revealed,  in the very deeps of our mind.  Emanuel Swedenborg named the process accurately it seems to me,  as  'regeneration'  because he believed life in the body is preparation for life after death. He was given evidence that's convincing to me now  although if I'd not read Robert Monroe's Journeys Out of Body and Far Journey's before reading anything Swedenborg wrote, I'm sure I would have felt differently. They both described mental adventures that happened 'while yet in their bed'.  Swedenborg wrote that what happens in life and the choices that are made in life determine what  life after life in the body will be.

 I know that the process happens in life  as a  'life re-view' literally, but it's not like someone announces it, that has to be discovered.  "What a gift ye give us, to see ourselves as others see us." W. B. Yeats

Ira Progoff's The Dynamics of Hope, Perspectives  of Process in Anxiety and Creativity, Imagery and Dreams is in my opinion a great book, and  is the result of his recognition of that process in his life. I remember reading Monica Furlong's The End Of Our Exploring, an exploration by a young woman of the various paths in life at time when it was a path I didn't suspect or know anything about. You don't have to be a genius, just be willing to learn and change your mind.

This morning I watched Sunday Morning on Channel 7 which is one of my favorite shows usually. Several segments were especially meaningful to me, and relevant to the task I have reason to believe was assigned to me before I was born. We may be information in a body! One episode in particular was about soldiers who  were denied Medal of Honor awards because forsenic tests done in an autopsy were accepted as evidence that didn't support what  eye witnesses had said happened. There was a specific incident, a specific soldier shielded his men and saved them  from a grenade, they reported it themselves, but forsenics 'proved' otherwise. Forsenics proved that consciouness could not have caused  the act of heroism to be done. I fumed about how 'analysis and statistics' over ruled witnesses and real live experiencers report, I've had that happen to me too often.

Later, as I went about making my bed I thought about wars and what is required of men. That  reminded me of an incident that happened in 1964. We had just moved  to Seattle from Indiana. I was washing dishes when I heard my 5 years old son call to me. He was watching the news, war news. "Mommie, how do the soldiers in airplanes that are throwing bombs down and shooting guns know who the bad people are?" It's a question  I'd not asked my self, so I just told him they had no way of knowing who the bad people were."Some good people get killed accidentally."

"I don't ever want to be a soldier, mommie." he said.

I remember feeling a degree of shock that he wasn't patriotic and that I had not taught him patriotism! I remember feeling a kind of horror that he would say he didn't ever want to be a soldier! Later when war protesters arose from his generation I thought there must have been other little boys watching the news and they asked their mother the question that son had asked me. Maybe they got the same answer and made the same decision. He was watching the news  not long after that when he called to me. "MOMMIE, some bad guy shot Mr. Kennedy."
I had to realize this morning  how  at less than 6 years old, he had seen news happen and thought about things I'd never thought about when I was half a century old. Seeing something happen rather than just reading about it made a big difference, probably.
But there may be some truth to the idea of destiny. By that  I mean  that what needs to happen in Time does happen, but  when its supposed to happen and only then.  So our family Destiny might have  prevented me from inquiring until later in life about what a very young boy noticed and wondered aloud to me about.  I also remembered that when he played with his blocks one morning he got up, chuckling to himself as he toddled off to the kitchen: "Something in my head told me to get a drink of water." I remember thinking that seemed a strange thing for an 18 months old toddler to say. "Something in my head told me to get a drink of water." ???
I have come to believe in destiny or something like a Great Plan in life in which we enter if we can become conscious enough of  the prime initiator, which is curiosity and a need to find a truth about some trivial seeming detail in real life. It's a need  that's so great that after it's switched on permanently it  operates like a motor aimed at locating the truth in a specific life in very specific circumstances. My search for truth required  lack of curiosity for more than half a century. Then the 'switch' was turned on pemanently. At this point I'm  somewhat amused at my self, at times because  I feel a toddler like fascination and insatiable curiosity about everything.  That's a fact about old age that I didn't suspect.

Another segment on this Sunday Morning was about Madame Curie and her double  Nobel Prize awards in science.  What arose in my mind then was that there should be an award for people like me who don't go into higher education, never went into a laboratory, never did scientific experiements but who feel somehow they have made a discovery in their life that nobody else has written about, that we do have connection to an intelligence other than our own. "Work done for another level." That's  the way P. D. Ouspensky seemed to me to have described  his experience with that kind of participation in the 'Larger Domain' of life;  his task  was searching for a way to get  new information.

Those of us who lived the events in  their life and tried to understand them; even could prove them in the scienific mode if individual truth can be proved, experience rejection and being labeled a crank or worse.
Trying to prove my personal interpretations when it was necessary to find out whether I imagine things or not was only possible after the sense of needing to find the truth in real life was activated permanently. That didn't happen when I was 6 years old. Some situations in real life  happened but a new sense made that kind of need for truth was not only possible but very, very necessary. It seemed to be a new sense until I found out it's an old sense, it's really a  pattern. Pattern recognition may be what I have been directed to notice, I don't claim to have noticed it myself.

 Wanting recognition seems to be part of the 'drive' behind the search for truth; especially when  the search results in  facts that  displace much that's been accepted as truth by the collective. The mind itself has to be the object of study and most individuals do not feel driven to understand their own mind, or to become 'psychoanalytic' to the degree Freud, Jung, Swedenborg  and William Blake accomplished in their individualized life. A strange detachment from the body creates 'self observation' from either the depths or  some Other that's got a goal of it's own. There seems to be constant consciousness on that level, it's not asleep, ever. There are points in the past where radical changes occurred when a  new idea occurred in the mind of at least one man.
 This morning's segment about Madame Curie was an exception to the usual rule. I thought about what a lucky person she was to marry a scientist, they didn't war between themselves about some of the gender based issues I've confronted.

Last week I read Tolerance, The story of man's struggle to think by Hendrik Van Loon, and that caused me to consider my own past, which is about the incredible struggle of a woman to think independently, to think what has never been thought by anyone else.  Where do ideas come from?" is the question, can that be explained by scientific analysis?
In the mid 1990's I read a book, The Arrow of Time that reported how  Ludwig Boltzmann could not bear the very great torment of knowing he was 'right'  and ended himself just before his idea began to be accepted by his peers. I know there must be other examples that I don't know about of how difficult it is to be 'certain without doubt' and find no, or not much validation.

I've read books authored by individuals who never became famous yet their book contained information that was more valuable than an encyclopedia of information! Sometimes the information made no sense when I read the book, years of experience had to happen before the book made sense. (Bond of Power by Joseph Chilton Pearce, which was re-issued under a different name, The Biology of Transcendence; Ira Progoff's The Symbolic and The Real are two examples.)
Sometimes the book  verified my own experiences exactly and I felt a very great relief and thankfulness coupled with an anguish of frustration. Why should such information be available and so few people know about it? Why do people quarrel about every thing they don't agree with? (Ira Progoff's The Dynamics of Hope; Maurice Nicolls' Living Time and Integration of the Life; The Re-Creating of the Individual by Beatice Hinkle are examples of that kind of validating book. )

There was yet a third kind of book which after I read it caused me to close it and then my mind seemed to 'use' or 're-use' the ideas in the book and present the authors ideas in a completely different context than the author had done. Such a book was The Lord of Thought by Emmett and Dougall which I've already mentioned but The Phenomonen of Man by Teilhard de Chardin had been one book that my mind seemed to select to give me information that the author had not explicitly included in his own book. I felt an explosion of information I'd not thought about ever, even once in my life about how 'man' has not been categorized, classified and how difficult it would be for 'man' to 'see' his own life the way we see animals and other living and non living objects.

I had to create a name that kind of explosion of inner content because there was a demand to 'name what you see, describe what you see' included in it. I named them 'mindquakes' but it's very likely other authors used more well known, more  scholarly words whose meanings are  obscure to individuals like me.
 It seems to me at this point that a certain 'sense' has to be active to some degree or to an excessive degree that initiates a search for and a need to establish what is true in the individual life.

 I felt that those of us who quarrel with the  science of the collective, and who survived with enough sanity intact to function somewhat usefully and decently should have a category in the Nobel Prizes.

 "Somebody said that it couldn't be done, at least nobody ever has done it." Edgar Guest. It could be done.

The 'organ' of self observation..updated

Aristotle voiced the cultural tendancy of his Time when he said: "The feminine principle is the mother of the body but the mother of the spirit is male." Aeschylus play Eumenides, line 659 through line 666 repeats the belief:

The mother to the child that men call hers,
Is no true Life Begetter but a nurse
Of Live Seed. Tis the sower of the Seed
Alone begetteth. woman comes at need,
A stranger, to hold safe in trust and love
That bud of new life--save when God above
Wills that it die...there have been fathers, where no mother is.

It's important not to let this idea slip through without thinking  about what it means: There have been fathers where no mother is. 

In The Republic Plato mentioned in a most offhand way that man possesses an organ more worthy of development than all the five senses. (I counted six: sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste, intuition which means inwardsly taught, that's a definition I'd learned in Latin, it's instinctive to me to believe the definition means exactly what it says).

The 'inwardsly taught' sense seems to me to be  'art' in all it's forms but that took a long time to become aware of;  I didn't understand what 'art' is until I was in my 70's. Overall it's a pattern-making function:  it creates symbols, defines them, recognizes them in different manifestations (generalizing) and creates seemingly new patterns appropriate to the Time in the individuation process and probably in the collective. The 'ancient' symbol is often hidden from the new ones but there is a connection as I found out myself when I recognized a form of the ancient uroborous (the snake devouring its own tail) in a logo Boeing used to promote 'continuous improvement' in the mid 1990's. The image was only a circle,shaded from a very dark color to lighter color but I recognized the ancient form, which I'd only noticed myself recently! It's supposed to be the symbol of 'wholeness' but that's a very strange definition in my thinking which was at that point  not attached to ancient meanings or their 'icons'.

Such a function of mind created several new patterns that I lived unknowingly myself. but  they were unconnected to the past, at least some of them, because technology not psychology or philosophy was involved.

They were my private frustrations for years until it was obvious many females were walking the same path in their homes. My significant other was constantly switching the channel during commercials; not asking for directions when it was obvious we were lost; had a toddler-like cunning at times; an aversion to rules imposed by authority; disliked very much unsolicited suggestions. And any situation that produced feelings of lack of authority was met with an immediate retreat from the situation.That became a pattern that pointed towards a lot of psychological insight on some level of mind as well as foresight into the actual situation!

My life 'change' began with reading symptoms of male menopause one day, and recognizing that pattern was operating in our life. Then I  tried to talk about it! I didn't know that 'menopause' was  a change to the male!  It  was a female experience until quite by chance, or the operations of destiny itself, I read about it in a book.  I recognized it explained the sudden conflict between us, at least some of it. It was information about my life at the moment, a kind of coincidence that I read the book, but it was useless information in the early 1980's .Even having seen the movie Ash Wednesday with  Elisabeth  Tayhor, which had depicted a woman's mid life crisis when her husband told her he wanted a divorce, so he could enjoy life after a struggle to establish himself. He wanted to start over while he still had a chance, he found a younger   woman.  She tried to entice him back by plastic surgery, I didn't recognized the male pattern in menopause until a few years later, when several well established marriages ended in divorce. However when it intiated a 'change of life' in my location on the planet, in 1981 and I heard basically the same words that I read in  a book.

That has changed in a quarter of a century, it's a collectively lived pattern now, isn't it?  We seem to all be  living through 'male menopause' patterns, vicariously sharing that pattern of change  and all it embodied to the females like me, especially me:  empty nest pattern; displaced housewife; but also just about every negative stereotype about the female that's been put into words by someone other than a female. The positive stereotypes happen to some females, but not all of us.

There are levels in life where negative is necessary, essential, that side of life has to be lived too. Cosmic level 'good' supercedes all other levels. What was negative for a long time, when everything that happened  seemed against what I wanted and hoped for  happened, I've learned to get meaning from life itself. That has caused me to feel I understand real reality much better. I understand how it can seem that 'life is but a dream'.

I don't dream but the faculty that creates dreams seems to be under the authority of that 'organ' that Plato mentioned.  It was a path to reality, but part of it was daily discovery of  new information as I went about my life. Embedded in every day life events, some 'other' life began to emerge, bit of informaton by bit of information.  Discovering that history is really his story and that there's an ongoing mystery in Time seems likely to be a basic pattern itself, one  that creates 'self observation', a re-view of that life that takes place as a mental, but observable process, the process of becoming twice born.

(The quotation from Aristotle is in Re-creating of the Individual by Beatrice M. Hinkle; 1923 Harcourt, Brace and Co, available now in paperback. Incredible book, it explains the psychological re-birth very well, in my opinion. But I just read it a few weeks ago so it was validation that such a pattern does exist and that it re-creates the individual, at least some of them. Individual science, a science of the individual on that path  doesn't exist yet. )

 Back to Plato, who knew about that path and gave a few clues that it exists in an allegory he wrote about people chained in a cave who didn't suspect they lived in a very small world.  Plato was either a secret keeper  who understood that the best way to keep an idea alive so that it manifests in some form continually  in Time is to make the idea dangerous. Make it  a secret not to be revealed on pain of great punishment  But alternatively perhaps he wrote about an 'organ more worthy of development than the five senses' automatically and had no conscious relationship to what he wrote. That idea would not occur to anyone that hasn't experienced the 'automatism' in one's own body and mind,  which I have witnessed in my self, much to my amazement.

 And he had no curiosity about what he wrote. That's also  happened to me so I know it can happen that a person experiences very little of what their own body does. That's the foundational idea for psychiatry itself, as I discovered, although I don't believe it should apply to individuals until a certain point in life 'opens the life' of that individual, then self observation is possible. It's like a detachment from one's own body, and I don't mean 'out of body' in the literal sense. It's a movement in inner space that puts distance between my body and an organ within that uses what's in front of me to create a 'story' with only one person in the audience, me, somewhat aware of being controlled and manipulated, but by what?

That includes writing something that hasn't been thought about, saying things that haven't been thought about, doing things that seem meaningless; spontaneous and at times compellingly necessary; impulse driven activities that have no established purpose or goal.  Discovering quite by impulse that such silliness has meaning and what I was 'acting out' was important,  that a kind of language has to be learned, as life does the interpreting, well consciousness of that kind of meaning happens or may not happen; noticing small details and differences from 'normal' is necessary.

The pattern may be where the idea of fate, destiny, fortune originated. It's the means to keep the 'thread of an idea moving forwards in biological time'. It's my opinion now that  it functions 'like' a signal, carrying a message and as McCluhan said in a different context than mine:  "The medium is the message." There's no way that  verbal language can describe what a leap it was for me to begin to  believe events had to be interpreted, and a bigger leap that the interpretation occurred automatically in mental space. Meaning came automatically, in bits and fragments that accumulated and then created a new understanding, parallel to 'normal', or what had been normal for me  Two streams of understanding..."Which is  real?" I wondered after about 5 years.

It functions 'like' a perpendicular, in my opinion and it creates it's own information, I'm the observer and my past is the basis from which it's formed.

What is embedded in every day life has to be abstracted out in some way. A few events were inserted early in life, memories  of those events re-occured  for no reason but they made me curious about why they re-occurred. They were stored in advance for later used. When there's no conscious memory of such  activities when they are initiated, when theres no eye or ear in the  body that remembers such content, (well, that's the basis of psychoanalysis) that points towards different levels in the mind.  But there are several mentions in the bible to the same kind of content. "ye have eyes but see not", "Let him that hath an ear"; 'ye understand not  the signs of your own time', etc.

The form of speaking in 'comparisons' and 'illustrations' was  old when Plato suggested an organ more worthy of development than the five senses.  To make the idea into a heresy, a topic forbidden to disagree with,  a secret to be kept on pain of great punishment is to guarantee it's survival through generations in Time, such that a conspiracy seems to keep it alive.

The body was certainly information encoded in some form even in the Greek era as it is today when  an amazing synchronization becomes obvious between inner content and events outside the body. Many individuals experience that synchronization but getting the message requires learning to be a kind of artist, as well as a critic of one's own body.  When other inner content that's not dreams but somehow visible content that has to be 'discovered'  and understood, although it  had  a kind of visibility when it occurs, but which was as distant from the 'now' when it occured as some galaxies are from Earth, it's like observing events with a new eye, hearing with a new ear.

 Such an organ is an idea that would seem to merit a chapter and a lot of detailed elaboration but as yet I I've not come across it except in  off hand remarks that infer or ought to infer much. A poem often says the same thing, coded:
                                                                            STAY
The clouds were pretending to be clouds
when in fact they were overheard comments
regarding his recent behavior, but muffled
as though heard through a wall. Unlike
the personal messages being conveyed to him
in the form of asides by people on TV,   chilling
in their calm and unequivicable malevolence.

In the garden the roses are opening
chanting in unison, My name is Mary and
you really don't want to come near me
not if I were the last little swastika nympho
on Earth., and WHAT was THAT supposed to mean!

Then there were the others who lived there.
(Was he living there now?) They were indifferent
to him with the very striking exceptions
of two friends. He could tell they were friends'
by the marked improvement in their moods
when his was at its most truely desolate.
Franz Wright,

It works somewhat like the author writes, the effect of one persons' unconsciousness on that of another can create some uncomfortable situations. Theodore Reik's written Listening With The Third Ear and other important books about how in his life his mind seemed to create situations that led him to insight in his patients problems. Not everyone tries or expects to have to learn for themselves, how their own mind  operates.

I read Plato's remark only a few years ago at a point when I had felt the mechanisms of that organ and they were already familiar to me to some degree. There are points of change, radical change in one's thought and the direction of attention.   I'd recognized them as mechanisms but the effect created a more personalized interface with every thing and everything than some interactions I've had with real people.

It took about 20 years  (1980-2000)  to be certain  there are mechanisms of mind that operate without my intentions or will and that my own mind has always had busyness of it's own and it's operated independently through out my life on a project I had to discover. Other people seemed to know it before I did, that's where the idea of 'participatory consciousness' between humans at the unconscious level began to dawn on me, when it seemed other people could read my mind.  And gradually we can each recognize that the project is an ongoing endeavor in Time itself, a hint about which  is in the bible where four dimensions are mentioned: height, width, breadth, depth. (Reading that was a puzzler to me, 4 dimensions?)

((Flatland by Abbot; Sphereland by Burgher; The Persian King by Charles Hinton help to convey the new way to think about perpendiculars, in my opinion anyway. Brief synopsis: The King had to learn how to motivate inert creatures that felt equal pleasure and pain, so that they would 'do' something. He figured out that by absorbing a degree of their pain  the creatures felt more pleasure than pain, for a time so they lived and became active. But he had to keep them 'alive' by absorbing more and more of their pain,  then when he could bear no more pain he left them inert and went with an Other that mysteriously appeared, on his way." Beautiful story. ))

The occasions when my mind operated with it's own project in mind were events that were embedded in every day life, some when I was less than 9 years old. I suspect such events happen for a reason, Jung experienced them, many authors of great books begin with an incident that happened when they were very young. Mine were very specific and they  caught (or were brought to) my attention in the most subtle ways,  creating a new  way to relate to every aspect in my life while I struggled with certain life problems and felt literally isolated from everyone in that isolation. In that kind of isolation it's not impossible to notice there is an attempt to help, and it's all 'within'.

A hidden world emerged, but it was certainly one that caused Plato to write the Allegory of the Cave and inspired the Matrix series as well as much of our modern fantastic movies.   Plato could have been more direct than using allegory perhaps except that secret keeping was essentially a device he knew would create a determination to find out what the secret is, in future generations.  It (that there is a secret, really) was eventually obvious when the intensity I felt seemed to be shared by others working on the same 'project' that when I  (and two small groups of other individuals in my location on this planet shared it for several years (1975-1993).

We were leaving the mainstream level literrally, learning advanced and challenge level square dancing. The mainstream dancers were not violent but we felt their outrage because gender differences were erased at that level. That made a 'fun dance' much more difficult to do, as we found out, not everyone likes to work at having fun. It's basic form is the same as the I Ching, chess, ideas of quantum physic, and certain psychological concepts, it's physically re-presentable in the moebius band, where the interaction of opposites and the interactions of similars as well as the interactions of complementary other(s) live and teach each other.

 Petr D. Ouspensky, Tertium Organun, page 150-151 describes love:
"Perhaps love is a world of strange spirits who at times take up their abode in men, subduing them to themselves, making them tools for the accomplishment of their inscrutable purposes. Perhaps it is some particular region of the inner world wherein the souls of men sometimes enter, and where they live acceding to the laws of that world while their bodies remain on earth, bound by the laws of earth.  It is an alchemical work of some Great Master, wherein the souls and bodies of men play the role of elements out of which is compounded a philosophers' stone, an elixir of life..." 

 "The philosopher is usually interested in a central idea that evolves over a long period of time, which may never be successfully completed and formulated into words , one that may appear to be mysterious and beyond scientific validation." Jean Piaget.  I understand what that feels like.

I repeat this as I do other ideas that seem to need to be emphasized: From Oedipus authored by Patrick Mullahy Footnote, page 507

"Often in explaining his ideas Freud resorts to analogies or conceptions from the physical world. Another conception of his is “that among the psychic functions there is something which should be differentiated (an amount of affect, a sum of excitation), something having all the attributes of a quantity—although we possess no means of measuring it—a something which is capable of increase, displacement and discharge and which extends itself over the memory traces of an idea like an electric charge over the surface of the body…for the present it is justified by it’s utility in correcting and explaining diverse psychical conditions. Collected papers, Vol I, p.75"

It's my opinion that the 'something which should be differentiated' is an effect of the 'organ of self observation', as Swedenborg wrote in his life about a process of regeneration that occurred to him, as preparation for life after death.  I don't know about that but it, (individuation/regeneration) happens in this real world, and it's not easy to get validation through science, yet. That kind of specificity in content cannot be verified easily.  I've had a very rational experience, not many  hallucinations were inserted, and they were always brought to my attention, eventually. That kind of inner prompting made me curious, eventually. I  have never had out of body experiences such as he and Robert Monroe live, that was their life experience. But their stories made the mind and it's abilities to create it's own content and insert it into actual reality,  some thing to think about. That kind of 'insertion' has happened a few times, and I've not noticed them until much later, an inner prompting brings an event to mind, and some aspect that I didn't notice is brought to my attention. 

"What happened in the past is determined by what is to happen in the future." Norman O. Brown.

The Mind, it's own productions, and synchronicities.

That's a point where both 'form' and 'content' unite precisely timed into an ongoing flow of events.  I  found "The Bond Of Power" by Joseph Chilton Pearce quite by chance sometime in 1985 as best I can date it . I read it when I wasn't very much interested in reading anything like it, because my head felt as though it would burst but I didn't understand what the author was writing about either: "Postulates arrived full blown in the   mind."? "Insight realm?" What's that? Whatever it was, that  was the authors' main theme but because he mentioned Arthur C. Clarke's Childhood's End, autism, folie aux due, in sight and William Blake often enough, I felt a vague sense of kinship as I struggled through the book. Those specific details were personally relevant to me immediately, but only vaguely. Until about 1984 I had read only fictions, a lot of fiction but the 'force of a habit' may have demanded that I read non-fictions instead  when the content of the habit reversed into its opposite.

I re-read the book several years ago but by then  I had learned that I'd had what he  described as a 'postulate arrived full blown in the mind' myself'.  I'd had it already when I read the book the first time but he was writing about 'suddenly there' implosions of information into the mind of scientists. He gave quite a number of examples of what he experienced, many unusual experiences I'd never read or thought about. But they didn't link up easily with what I had named a 'mindquake' when I did name it a few years after it happened. After a few years of reading material that literally 'boggled my mind' I felt his term applied to my 'mindquakes'.  In re-reading the book, which has been reprinted under a new name recently, I noticed many mentions that I believe are worth quoting for someone else, anyone that's struggling with the changes that begin with synchronization of thought and events in the material world that this non-scientist (me)  has experienced.

I know it's not delusional to experience that flow where mind, thought, material world events align perfectly for a span of years and a real purpose is at work in the individuals life. That where confusion develops because other people and what they're doing blend effortlessly into developing the parallel flow that I felt as 'second underlying contexts'  when they were relevant events. That's my descriptive term for 'meaningful coincidences/synchronicities'. A Jungian analyst told me that's a perfect definition, everyday events are in a real way 're-used', 're-seen', 'echoed' but with a new meaning, in a personal context, it happens automatically, suddenly, always as a surprise.

Page 8-9, Introduction: “Carl Jung on his return from a visit to India in 1937 observed that the Hindu didn’t seem to think his thoughts as we do in the West, but perceives his thought” as though thought were ready made outside the brain and simply viewed like any sensory act. Indeed, Jung’s notion agrees with Hindu and yogic theory that thoughts are not originated in the brain but are perceived from a stream of impressions impinging on the brain. At issue here is not the merit of Western and Eastern logics but a larger definition of mental experience.

The relation of mind, grain and world is not a one-way street. Traffic moves on many levels and incorporates a surprisingly wide terrain. In sight is surely a perfect example of a level of thought not generated by our ordinary brain process. So the suggestion of a perceptual background which includes thought as one of its components is strange to us and academically suspect but is demonstrated in insight and can be experience through meditation.

Brain research indicates that new process of thought and experience open for us through synchronization of right and left hemispheres of the brain. The attempts of Eastern thought to break into Western logic on some serious level today may indicate the attempt of this thinking sphere of Earth to balance the fragmentations of technology.”

Page 79: Our idea system must be flexible enough to incorporate anything occurring in our lives, not a system ruling out large areas of possibility (such) as hallucination and illusion. A viewpoint which relates only to the explicate order and it’s “objective experience” automatically establishes a serious tyranny over the mind. Through such definitions we allow only the “merest ripple” on the surface of the holonomic movement into our lives.”

Page 136: I recall how intrigued I was, years ago with Carl Jung’s forays into “synchronicity” a pseudoscientific attempt to explain non-ordinary phenomena and the way thinking at times seemed to influence reality (so vigorously denied by academic thought). How pallid his examples and explanations seem after time around Baba. (His teacher)

As a mature female, very mature even in the early 1980's it was an almost unbelievable switch to begin to observe my own thoughts, and wonder if "I" produced all of them. There were times it seemed the planet had developed a voice but that 'voice' always had a matching content in my thought...('mirror neurons' possibly?)that preceded what the 'exterior to me' voice 'said'. There are symptoms in psychiatric texts that name this kind of 'resonation' as either ideas of reference, thought broadcasting, magical thinking (when it seems my own thought is producing effects in the world, having results!) etc.

An example may help understand what I mean. Any author of a non-fictional book gleans fragments from other authors and assembles them into his book, a fine example of which is Harold Searles Selected Essays on Schizophrenia. That's a book that came to my attention when I noticed another author cited "Driving the other person crazy" by Searles' in his bibliography. I wanted to read 'Driving the other person crazy" so I looked on the Internet and found it was in his Selected Essays on Schizophrenia. It was available for $89.50 so I put it out of my mind.

A short time later I was waiting in line to pay for a book at Barnes and Noble and I noticed a rack of books, reduced as much as 75%. Laying on top was a book, the first book that caught my attention: Selected  Essays on Schizophrenia by Harold Searles, and it had been reduced 75% so  bought it. Mr. Searles described many instances when he realized his patients were mocking him, 'acting out' what they perceived in him. He sensed a level of consciousness in his patient that was fully aware of information that spoke to him from deeper levels of mind.

This is basically what C. G. Jung recognized, that his patients acted out certain symptoms of their illness that they couldn't see. Or even had a 'voice' within themselves that spoke to him, words they could not hear themselves speak, and it seemed they didn't 'remember' saying. He told them what he heard them say.  This is an amazingly difficult aspect of our lives, that there is such vast space in between our ears. And that our own ears do not hear nor our eyes see everything our body does.

I remember a quotation in Carl Sagan's book Contact that didn't impress me at all when I first read it:
"In her mind she thought she could hear one joyous shout amidst a clamor of other voices." Ellen Arroway had just realized that the signal they had picked up was the first contact from extra terrestrials. It seemed to me to suggest that 'amidst a clamor of other thoughts in my mind, there was 'one' that was coming to me, I was not producing it myself. It's worth investigating whether this is a common feature of 'us', we two legged uprights that carry memories of the past, in our bodies apparently, and are haunted by them.

That book was more than just a book to me, it gave me ideas that helped me to understand my first mind quake, which was a 'palimpsest' in the same way the message in the book happened. It had layers each having to be decoded before the next was available.

There are other authors such William Blake and Emanuel Swedenborg who proudly recognized they were only the hand that wrote down what they received.  (I don't suggest getting into Swedenborg until you've read Robert Monroe's three books in the order he wrote them.) It doesn't seem to me to be pathological thinking, or forming delusional associations between events and personal thoughts to recognize there is 'one thought voice within' that as Socrates described it long before I lived: "is the god within that tells us about our universe".

Discovering the 'sequestered inner world', individually and uniquely guided.

"The human consciousness in addition to the function of the exploring of the outside world is burdened with the additional task of discovering the sequestered inner world." Norman O. Brown, Life Against Death, pp 171

The task requires an experience of the process itself, and that includes a way to identify the mechanisms of mind that  produce the results. By that I mean the acceptable proof that the individual is being related to, not collectively but as a specific person. 

An example is that an inner event happened to me when I was 13 years old (1945) that was retrieved into my mind in 1984 exactly as I had originally experienced it. I had forgotten that event until it was retrieved but the significance of the retrieval did not occur to me then, as it had not in 1945. It was so unusual that it should have made a deep impression that day, but I gave no thought to it afterwards.

There are many authors who begin their book with a description of something that happened when they were very young. These early life events seem to be installed for later use, C. G. Jung described several that happened when he was young, one of the most significant (in my opinion) was when one day he imaged a giant turd falling over the church of Basel.

The term 'holy shit' might have some reference to that event, once the term is linked to Norman O. Brown's chapters in Life Against Death that are about the excremental vision of Martin Luther. I was shocked literally when I read that revelation had happened when he was 'on the privy in the tower'  and that the 'internal sense' of  Jonathan Swift's  Gulliver's Travels is quite different than the fantastic story.  I read with that the excremental vision really began in a privy but it relates to a modern  pattern, anal retentive,  associated with toilet training, of being literally 'up tight'.

The 'internal sense' (or the hidden level of meaning similar to Swedenborgs'  version of stories in the Bible) of that book is not obvious to anyone that reads it with a normal sense. I believe from my experiences that this kind of understanding  requires the 'transcendental function' to create the information Mr. Brown discerned in the book. "Anal retentive" became a popular phrase at work when profits began to be the primary focus of where I worked, rather than building a product. I wondered how many people knew something of it's origin.

 C. G. Jung wrote that the first half of life is preparation for the second half, and that's a statement that implies he recognized 'foresight' in his own life. His Red Book which was only recently made available to the public exposes the many levels of his own mind that he became aware of, levels that linked to the depths within the depths of not only his own mind but the collective past. He wrote the Red Book from his encounter with the voice of the spirit of his age, and the spirit of past ages and what may be the spirit of future ages.

Perhaps the  mind itself has always had an eye that never sleeps, that seems likely to me. It can take a snap shot of what's happening to me  and it includes what ever is in my mind, it's complete in every detail. I know that now for a fact myself but I had to discover that fact from implications of such events as happened really that made no impression until they were retrieved. The mechanisms in the mind have been somewhat named in psychiatric texts.
Those mechanisms are within the  mind and from my own experiences they are part of our body now, although that might not have always been the situation. The 'transcendental function' has developed  and become distinct through a span of ages, periods in Time, perhaps as our 'genetic structures', forms that create 'events' from ordinary daily situations and circumstances that the individual would normally experience without any particular way to distinguish some 'difference'.

 To clarify what I mean by an 'event' rather than an event, this example happened in 1987: I was assigned to a new location in the building where I worked at Boeing and I had to walk onto a metal gridwork floor for the first time. It's a large area, tanks are embedded in it so that only 4 feet are above the gridwork floor and 12 feet are below it. Without hesitation I walked onto the floor to do my job which required I look for paperwork that was on the ledge of each tank.  I'd taken several steps when suddenly I felt dizzy and had to cling to the ledge of the tank nearest me.

A few seconds passed then I realized the light in the room below the grid work floor made it nearly disappear, so I felt like I used to feel when I walked across a bridge near my grandmothers' house when we went for a walk when I was very young.  The road disappeared to my childish perception, I saw the water and not the grid work so I wouldn't walk on the bridge for some time. When she carried me successfully across a few times, I managed to accept that all floors aren't solid. The memories of my past somehow produced a thought: "It's just like standing on an invisible floor. I can see what's going on around me but I can see whats going on below me too."

Then I noticed distinctly an 'effect' to the thought, that turned the direction of the words around, I had thought them, but the effect turned them around toward me, I heard them again in a bundled unit, no space between the words as though another person had said them to me. This 'effect' had come to my attention over a span of months, almost two years; it had seemed to be happening but I could not be certain until this event in my material world happened and it was distinct this time.

The words of my thought were 'reflected back' to me, they were in a very real way re-used to 'talk' to me because in the 're-use' the words told me what I was doing not only  physically but mentally. I had not yet understood that a process of individuation existed, I knew nothing about a mental realm or the mind/brain/body connection to it. I was amazed (but not immediately) at how my material world thought, produced by what I was doing physically was repeated, somewhat like an echo but there were no spaces between the words. I would not have used the word echo then, that word had to occur in several other situations before it seemed to fit. There was another phrase that did occur to me somewhat distantly:  double thought and I remembered having read it in a book by Wilson Van Dusen and it was a quotation from Emanuel Swedenborg's writings.

It was the first quotation I read anywhere from Emanuel Swedenborg's writings. "I feared my double thought might be torn asunder." It was a strange phrase, I remember pausing briefly over it, wondering what it could mean. I would never have suspected that at the time I read the phrase, it literally described what I had been occasionally experiencing, a doubleness not only of thought, but everything outside of my body. This change had happened  in a certain specific setting at first, a few years before 1984, then it expanded to every aspect of my life, but gradually. When it happened I felt the same dizziness that I feel when I've driven into a parking slot and stopped when someone adjacent to me is pulling out.  For a few seconds I feel like I'm moving myself, and I jam on the brakes.

This was such a new kind of 'event' when each event happened, that I felt that real dizziness, when my mind was detached from my normal world experiences. There were times when I wondered if I was 'thinking' my thoughts, my thought world was quite different after about 1982.
If that isn't clear enough I can refer my reader to another example of 'double thought'  which I found a few years ago in Theodore Reik's book, Fragment of a Great Confession in chapter titled: In Small Packages. He described an event where his own mind seemed to hover over certain words in his thought, they developed a hidden meaning, a double bottom. He did not recognize that those particular words actually described to him a detail about his own real life, the fact that they 'hovered' in his mind forced him to 're-think' about them.

The term 'second sight' has a real meaning when the processes of individuation are activated.